It’s the day after
Waitangi Day, 1978. I report for afternoon
duty and join the handover meeting.
There are six of us in the room. I
am the only non-white. The Charge Nurse’s
first words are to me: “Like, I’m not racist, but did you see what those idiots
did at Waitangi?”
I know where this is headed but I engage
anyway.
“I did. What kind of idiots try to barge through a
crowd when they could easily have gone around?”
“I meant
those Mowree idiots who threw eggs at the Governor-General!”
“Seems tame
in comparison to what gets thrown in Ireland.”
“You’re just
lucky you lot didn’t get colonised by the Spanish!”
“Lucky, like
the Irish?”
“What do you
Mowrees want?”
“I can’t
speak for anyone else, but what this Māori wants is to know how my patients are
before I start work.”
She stands and leaves the room without completing the
handover. I look at my colleagues who
all avoid my gaze and my company for the rest of the shift.
Later that night I ponder the total inappropriateness of the
Charge Nurse and the utter gutlessness of my colleagues. I realise that I had been expected to show
more sensitivity to their sensitivity to the “r” words.
“White Fragility” is a term first coined by Dr Robin
DiAngelo to describe the defensive moves that white people make when challenged
racially, particularly about “white privilege”. These include emotions such as
anger, fear, guilt; and behaviours including argumentation, recentering,
distancing, silencing.
While the average person of colour has spent years
developing a thick skin when it comes to systemic racism, the average white
person can go through most of their formative years without ever having to
think about race. So even just hearing an
“r” word can be traumatic and create a negative environment for them.
Recently, a satirical group devised a simple system to help people
of colour to foster a non-hostile environment for our fragile white friends and
co-workers. Apparently, all we have to do
is – Stop, Ignore, Listen, Empathise, Never Complain, and Eat.
They only came up with this SILENCE system last year, so it
wasn’t around to help me back in 1978.
But if it had been, then this is how the handover meeting might have
played out.
CHARGE NURSE: Like,
I’m not racist ... [Stop and say
nothing] … but did you see what those idiots did at Waitangi? [Ignore and say nothing] … I meant those Mowree
idiots who threw eggs at the Governor-General!
[Listen, but say nothing] … You’re just lucky you lot didn’t get
colonised by the Spanish! [Empathise,
either with a nod or a statement of agreement] … What do you Mowrees want?
[Eat].
Unfortunately, I must interrupt this satirical SILENCE to
confirm that not ALL white people are racist, even though they are all
privileged by systemic racism. Oh, the
fragility.