DESCENDED FROM GREATNESS

E kore au e ngaro, he kākano i ruia mai i Rangiātea.

I will not be lost, I am a seed descended from Rangiātea.

Many years ago I chaired Te Kao Area School’s Board of Trustees and one of my fondest duties was supporting our rangatahi (youth) to spread their wings and fly.

 

In 1992 one of our students took part in the inaugural voyage of Te Aurere.  On the day of his departure, the school held a poroporoaki and I was called to attend at short notice.

I was conscious that the occasion required more than for me to simply turn up.  It required giving our rangatahi something to remind him of where he came from and who he was becoming in the greater voyage of his life.  But what that could be and how to find it at such short notice was beyond me.  So I prayed.

For those who know Te Wairua Tapu (the Holy Spirit), it will come as no surprise that I was led into the ngāhere (forest) where I found an unusually smooth piece of tangiwai (serpentine) that had no business being there other than to be found and given to our rangatahi.

Fast forward several weeks to the pōwhiri for our returning rangatahi who amazed us all with his mature telling of tales from the voyage, including a landing made at Ra’iātea from whence comes the whakatauki above.  There he was prompted to lay the tangiwai at the long-deserted but still sacred temple of Taputapuātea.

I know there were reconnections and awakenings that needed to be made that were helped by the symbol of that tangiwai as it journeyed from its source in Aotearoa to our earlier source in Ra’iātea. 

I know that this was just one occurrence of many occurrences in one life of many lives that happened for an unknown reason at the time, but that became known at the right time. 

I know we all unconsciously have such experiences every day and that they are reminders that all things work together for good to them that love God. 

These knowings are what God meant when he told the imprisoned Prophet Joseph Smith Jnr, “If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren;

… if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way;

… if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou … that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. 

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?”

For Maori, these knowings are consciously summarised as follows:

Kei te mahi tahi ngā mea katoa i te pai mo te hunga e aroha ana ki te Atua.

All things work together for good to we who love God. 

He kakano tātou, i ruia mai i Rangiātea

We are seeds, descended from greatness.

THE CHOICE TO CARE

I have written in the past and at length about child abuse.  Today my focus is upon elder abuse, especially where those elders are no longer able to care for themselves.

Age Concern defines neglect and abuse as a single or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust and care, which causes harm or distress to an older person. 

Because there are more examples of abuse and neglect than there is space in this post, here are only four representative, but real, cases of physical, emotional, financial and sexual abuse of elders.

The whanaunga (relation) who has barged into the home of a kuia to verbally abuse and physically intimidate her over some perceived offense; that whanaunga is a bully and an abuser.

The paid caregiver who has told a continent but non-ambulatory kuia to mimi and tiko herself instead of asking to be taken to the toilet, thus breaching the HDC Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers' Rights Regulation 1996; that’s not a caregiver, that’s a bully and an abuser.

The people who have pressured an elder for financial gain, such as giving a loan, selling their house or letting a family member move in for free; those people are not caregivers, they’re bullies and abusers. 

Predators who have exploited the elderly for sexual gratification are not only abusers, they are criminals worthy of the harshest penalties enforceable. 

What can you and I do about elder abuse?  First of all we can get really clear about what it is and what it looks like.  Age Concern and others have published some of the signs to watch for. 

Any unexplained injuries, bruises, fractures, or even something like broken spectacles can be a sign of physical abuse. 

Sudden changes in behaviour by an older person that mimic dementia such as rocking, sucking, or mumbling to oneself can indicate emotional abuse.

Bruises around breasts or genitals, vaginal or anal bleeding, torn, stained, or bloody underclothing; these are consistent with sexual abuse. 

Sudden changes in the elder’s financial condition like unpaid bills when they have enough money to pay, or ATM withdrawals when the account holder is bedridden, these may signify financial abuse.

If you suspect elder abuse is happening, please tell someone you trust, because silence can be a killer.  And if you see or know an elder is being abused, do not hesitate to call Age Concern and the Police.

In their 2004 paper, Drs Mere Kēpa, Paul Reynolds and Ratana Walker of Ngā Pae o te Maramatanga at The University of Auckland, argued that if a community cannot care for its most vulnerable members, then the community has lost the capacity and capability to care for itself.

We cannot be ‘a little bit abusive’ or ‘a tad neglectful’ of our elders.  We can be either givers of trust and care to them, or bullies and abusers of them.   Which will we choose to be?