LOVE ONE ANOTHER

All my life I have heard two very strong and clear messages from the kuia kaumātua of my whānau and hapū.

First, love one another even, or especially, when we are at odds with each other. As one of our kuia said at a recent hui, “The good thing about us is, even if we have a big whawhai yesterday, we’re all here today to awhi.”

Second, stand up and fight for what we know to be right. The same kuia asked at the recent hui, “Are we koretake? No. We must fight. I ki ai te korero e kore kitea te aroha te ngakau, engari kei kona tetahi te aroha. Ki te konei tātou te aroha.”

In the midst of the call to arms and battle, is the call to love one another? How is that possible? Aren’t those mixed messages?

No. Because the key to doing both is to always remember that our hoariri are also our whānau and that, while we may sometimes hate the things some of our whānau do, we never stop loving them. As the saying goes, hate the sin but love the sinner.

We know this is true because if one of those we are fighting with dies or has something bad happen in their whānau, we are there working the hui, paying respects, helping in the clean up, giving our koha of mahi, manaaki or money.

Whether by blood, marriage or adoption, we are all related to each other in this world. Whether we believe in God the Father or some other higher power, or in no God at all, we all have a sense of love and kinship, especially with the very young and the very old. With these two extremes of human life we seem to be able to put aside all other considerations and just enjoy their company, regardless of their or our politics, beliefs or histories. There’s no agenda with babies and kaumātua kuia. Or at least there shouldn’t be. Just love.

As I move into the kaumātua kuia dimension myself, I see more clearly the wisdom of the call to fight for what is right and to love one another. These two practices are self-supporting and, when we do them over and over together, they become a self-renewing drive in us and lead to a state of peace regardless of what hell may be breaking loose around you. That is a priceless gift in a world of turmoil.

As our kuia said, “Mahia ngā mahi ki runga i te tika, me te pono, me te aroha.” Neat.