“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
None but ourselves can free our mind.”
None but ourselves can free our mind.”
In 1979, when Bob Marley sang his iconic number, Redemption Song, he struck a chord in Maori hearts and minds that resonates to this day.
“’Ow long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look?
Some say it’s just a part of it,
We’ve got to fulfil da book.”
While we stand aside and look?
Some say it’s just a part of it,
We’ve got to fulfil da book.”
I always think of and play this sing every Easter weekend when, throughout the country, whanau gather from all over the motu to countless rural marae for the uniquely Maori unveiling ceremony known as He Hura Kohatu.
With a similar programme to the day of burial it allows us to once more publicly share our sorrow, while at the same time releasing us from all future obligations to our whanaunga, other than quiet remembrance.
In 2007, my whanau was amongst those who gathered for Hura Kohatu.
With a similar programme to the day of burial it allows us to once more publicly share our sorrow, while at the same time releasing us from all future obligations to our whanaunga, other than quiet remembrance.
In 2007, my whanau was amongst those who gathered for Hura Kohatu.
Death is always sad, but for those of us who have lost loved ones to whakamomori, it can also be really, really destructive. For me it was like a nuclear bomb going off. Years later the fallout continues and so does the hurt in a way that no other death has.
With respect and tenderness I offer these personal insights to anyone who is being touched right now by suicidal feelings or acts.
First, hope is the one thing everyone needs to be scripted for. How different things would have been if my brother had found a ‘hope script.’ But here we are, and if we've learned anything from the distress of his suicide it's exactly that. Hope is paramount.
Second, consider this statement: - "If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you're going to eventually collapse ... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it."
Third, here’s another statement to think about: - “Suicide is not a choice; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”
You're not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, if you feel suicidal. I mean, sure at any given time, you might feel you are any or all of those things. Please believe me, you are not. You simply are having more pain than you can cope with at that time.
BUT (praise God) I am here to also tell you that suicidal feelings can be survived when you find ways to reduce the pain and increase the coping resources.
With respect and tenderness I offer these personal insights to anyone who is being touched right now by suicidal feelings or acts.
First, hope is the one thing everyone needs to be scripted for. How different things would have been if my brother had found a ‘hope script.’ But here we are, and if we've learned anything from the distress of his suicide it's exactly that. Hope is paramount.
Second, consider this statement: - "If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you're going to eventually collapse ... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it."
Third, here’s another statement to think about: - “Suicide is not a choice; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”
You're not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, if you feel suicidal. I mean, sure at any given time, you might feel you are any or all of those things. Please believe me, you are not. You simply are having more pain than you can cope with at that time.
BUT (praise God) I am here to also tell you that suicidal feelings can be survived when you find ways to reduce the pain and increase the coping resources.
“But our ‘and was made strong,
By the ‘and of the almighty.
We flowered in this generation,
Tri-umph-ant-ly.”
Help is waiting for you right now. It’s only a phone call or a prayer away.
Taku tuakana, Bo, I will always miss you. But I know that in a way you are closer than ever to the comfort, hope and charity made possible by He who redeemed the world during that first Easter season - our big brother Jesus Christ. I love you my brother.
“Won’t you ‘elp to sing,
Dese songs of freedom?
‘Cos all I ever ‘ave
Redemption songs.”
Dese songs of freedom?
‘Cos all I ever ‘ave
Redemption songs.”
1 comment:
Brave and so poignant. I hope I never know what it's like to lose someone like this. But where are the answers? If anything it's just gotten worse.
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